Filth
by Amalia Autumn
Summary: Katara stares at her hands, and bitterly hates the monster she has become.


It was simple. Whenever Katara felt dirty, she bathed. She was very anal about her hygiene, and she even scolded Sokka if he skimmed on a shower, yelled at Toph if she did not pick the little specks of dirt off her bare feet, reprimanded Aang for not brushing his teeth. It was so simple. You're dirty, you cleanse yourself. You bathe, shower, whatever it took to clean your body.

But this time, Katara felt dirty--and no matter how many times she bathed and bathed, she did not feel clean.

She washed her hands so many times they turned pruney and flower scented soap was embedded into her fingernails. She kept washing her face but no matter how many times she looked at her reflection, she saw a filthy face.

A filthy mind.

Filthy hands that committed the filthiest act.

Usually Katara never regretted anything in her short life, besides losing her mother and others she cared about. But she regretted letting Hama trick her. She regretted letting herself succumb to the sin of bloodbending.

For what seemed the hundredth time, Katara rose and silently crawled out of her sleeping bag and briefly, silently, left camp to head to the stream to wash her hands--again.

Katara bent the water in so many ways, used the last bit of soap from the large bottle in her pocket, slopped water on her face, even ran it through her hair (her seemingly greasy, oily, dirty hair).

After washing for what seemed an eternity, Katara studied her reflection on the pure, now untouched water.

Yet again she saw filth. It seemed the more she cleansed, the filthier she got.

Katara's brows met at the center of her forehead, and her pretty blue eyes brimmed with big, remorseful tears. Her hands, the hands that were and should've been meant to heal, began to tremble, and her own heart shattered to millions of pieces.

She hated the monster that she had become. Her mother would not be proud of this! Her daughter, meant to care for all around her, using this--this _evil, disgusting _act--to harm a person! And what of Gran-Gran? She wouldn't be happy, either!

Katara wasn't even sure she was going to return home after all this was over. And this made her cry harder, burying her face into her hands. Not even her own tears cleansed her dirty cheeks.

From behind her there was a silent moan, and a groggy voice said, "Katara...?"

She froze, panicked, abruptly turned around and without thinking, her hand flew outwards to immobilize the intruder, temporarily slowing the flow of blood within them.

...slowing the flow of--?

Katara stopped as soon as she'd started, and then widened her eyes in shock that it wasn't a Firebender at all, it was just Aang. Poor, innocent Aang, who was briefly in shock that his blood was tampered with. He regained composure quickly, however, and he was clearly wide awake now.

"Katara, it's only me." he said, blinking innocently. He frowned upon seeing the Waterbender in tears in front of him, quietly sobbing.

"I--I'm sorry, Aang, I..." she couldn't finish her sentence, she only fell to her knees and cried her heart out. How could she even do that?!?! Bloodbend! And on Aang of all people! She felt like she was covered in dirt, like she hadn't showered in years--she felt disgusting.

She half expected Aang to leave, tell everyone in camp to leave her behind because she was a monster--a terrible monster. Another part of her was saying she was being childish, that Aang wouldn't do something like that.

Would he?

She flinched when she felt a pair of arms encircle her, and Aang's voice silently shushing her and telling her everything would be all right. She cried harder, clinging desperately to him, wishing for the first time since after her mother passed that she was dead.

"Katara...it's okay...I dunno what's wrong--but everything will be okay," Aang replied softly, running a hand through her brown hair.

He was indeed naive. Katara didn't know whether to kiss him for it or to push him away for it.

After a while her sobs withered to sniffles, and Aang had managed to pop the question,

"What's wrong, Katara? You don't usually wander off at night."

Katara stared down at her hands, and somehow, Aang got the point. He narrowed his eyes sadly and stared down at the ground,

"I know how you must feel, Katara. Remember when I learned Firebending from Jeong-Jeong?"

Slowly, she looked up, and nodded her head timidly. It was horrible. She went from a loving caregiver to a heartbroken, vulnerable girl. Aang hated seeing her like this.

"After I hurt you, I felt horrible. I felt like I was a terrible person. Sometimes...I still feel terrible. For just...staying frozen in that iceberg for a hundred years...and letting all of this happen. I know you feel the same way."

Again she nodded.

"But...I've come to realize," Aang gently rested a hand on her own, and she looked up, a bit surprised at the sudden bold gesture, "...that if I was a terrible person...I'd...I'd have abandoned everyone--even now. I--I'm not meaning to sound self-centered, but," he was rather sheepish here, "...it's the bending, and how we use it, that make us who we are--not _what_ we bend. If you get what I mean."

Katara was surprised at Aang's sudden maturity. Usually he was bustling with life and always acting without thinking. Now he was the one comforting her instead of her usually comforting him.

Slowly, a smile adorned her features, and she wiped away the last few tears that fell,

"You're right."

"You're a good person, Katara. You're kind, you're caring. You're a very easy person to lo--!" Aang quickly caught himself and began coughing. She raised an eyebrow, not catching the close call, "An easy person to...?" she probed.

"To--to talk to! Yeah! That's it! You're an easy person to talk to!" Aang said, turning a bright shade of pink. He laughed nervously, until finally Katara asked, "Really? I am?"

"You sure are!" Aang was suddenly back to his normal self again: loud, bustling and naive, "Uh, come--come on! We'd...better get back! It's almost morning and Sokka and Toph might be up already!!!" He grabbed Katara's hand and pulled her up rather forcefully and began his trek back to camp with her, "I've, uh, also gotta--practice my Earthbending!!!"

Katara was a bit suspicious at Aang's sudden nervousness, but she felt a lot better than she did before. So she let it go.

Just this once.

**And thus ends my first Avatar fic ever. Some may know me for my Fullmetal Alchemist fanfics, but I decided to take a break for a while--I have been meaning to write an Avatar fic. No, I have not seen 'The Puppetmaster' (shot) so yes, it is a bit rusty. I also apologize profusely for Katara and Aang's OOC-ness, especially poor Aang. I may need to start watching Avatar again...**


End file.
